Avoiding Divorce Is Feasible

Remember when you got married? Everything was wonderful because you were in love and were loved. Life was great as you expected a lifetime of wedded bliss and a future filled with love and happiness. Your wedding vows were so important as you gazed into each others eyes knowing you would be together as long as you both shall live. You did not even imagine to be considering how to avoid divorce.

What happened? Now one or both of you is contemplating or threatening divorce. Marriage is not what you expected and your lover turned into a husband/wife. The love you once shared is never talked about and certainly never felt as you drift farther and farther apart. You did not realize that being together for entire life could seem so long.

Sorrowful marriages are not uncommon. Unhappiness sometimes starts on the honeymoon and sometimes years later. It can come suddenly or draw near you like old age. Most of us have stared in the mirror and wondered who that old person is. It's like that in marriage when you look at your spouse and wonder who that stranger is. Certainly, that's not the person you married....

But it is and you can be in love and happily married all over again with a little mutual understanding. Avoiding divorce is possible. Do not even talk about the D word until you have given it a sincere try to rekindle the spark that was once there. Gaze closely and I am sure you can see a little flame now.

You have probably been told that to have a happy marriage you should converse. So, begin with talking. Whatever has been at the root of your problems discuss them frankly and honestly. What have you got to lose? Communicate and negotiate. A happy life is understanding to compromise because it will not always go your way. Do not let the wind blow you away but bend a little.

Both of you bring to the talk table a list of things you want to see the other do to save the marriage. Do not just be negative. List the things that irritate you but even list things that give you pleasure and make you smile. Take the list seriously and implement it now.

Do not let the list limit your actions. Create ways to make your partner feel special and loved again. Enlighten them in a short note that you love and be glad about them via email or a phone call. They may be busy so do not linger. Say sweet nothings and leave them wanting more. Marriage should be enjoyable and filled with humor. You are more likely to stay together if you laugh together.

Get closer. Touch each other. When you pass, kiss their neck or ear or squeeze their hand. Do things together instead of watching TV. Special interests together provide a chance to do more talking, bonding and remembering why you loved them in the first place. The bottom line here is to be friends as well as lovers. When esteem returns so does love and when you love someone you could avoid divorce.

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